kendall.
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In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

(via fake-mermaid)

rnedia:

trying to argue with someone over text is like being italian and having to talk with handcuffs on

(Source: neptunain, via fake-mermaid)

kldzbop:

tiqhtly:

kldzbop:

hey what do horses eat read the first letter

horses eat h?????

fuck

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

wizcoylifa:

dear coca cola company,

i drank some of your POWERADE drink and im still weak as fuck when will the power begin to kick in? please reply soon, i just sent a mass text to my entire school saying i would beat up the football team this friday

(Source: falcnpunch, via 666-slut)

alrights:

toy-cack:

omg puppy put ur seatbelt on it’s so unsafe for ur tiny lil body to not have a seatbelt on oh ur so precious i love u

omg the caption made this photo set 100 times better

(Source: grizzi-thebearpup, via cheetahgirl69420)

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