mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
trying to argue with someone over text is like being italian and having to talk with handcuffs on
hey what do horses eat read the first letter
horses eat h?????
dear coca cola company,
i drank some of your POWERADE drink and im still weak as fuck when will the power begin to kick in? please reply soon, i just sent a mass text to my entire school saying i would beat up the football team this friday
omg puppy put ur seatbelt on it’s so unsafe for ur tiny lil body to not have a seatbelt on oh ur so precious i love u
omg the caption made this photo set 100 times better